Together
by zodiacflame
Summary: After his friends turn their backs on him when they discover he's the son of Satan, Rin becomes consumed by the dark thoughts of his own mind. If anyone can save him from himself, it's his brother. Oneshot. Blue exorcist and it's characters are (c) to Kazue Kato


**A/N: Wow, it's been too long since I've posted anything on here. It seems I lost my 'creative spark' for a while there. And what better a way to find it than by writing a totally depressing fic? I just finished re-watching Blue Exorcist, and arrgh, the feels! I cant even put it into words XD anyway, I thought I'd write a little fic about how Rin might have felt after the others found out about his heritage. Please excuse the very OOC-ness of this oneshot, it's my first attempt at writing these characters. Anyway, hope you enjoy! (Free virtual cookies for everyone who reviews! ;) )**

The room was swathed in darkness, eerily silent. On one of the beds by the wall was a hunched over figure, moving slightly back and forth. The figure's sobs went unheard by any, as he tried to hide the torturous betrayal he felt, like a knife being slowly twisted in his chest. But he didn't blame the other exwires; he blamed himself. He was an idiot, for losing control like that. No wonder they were terrified-no, _hated_ him. He could have hurt someone, or worse, killed them. But Amaimon had unleashed a rage in him that he hadn't experienced since the night of his father's death, and he'd be lying if he said it had completely left him. It wouldn't leave him at least until Satan was dead, and perhaps not even then. All the while he himself lived, Satan, in a sense, would still be alive.

Rin Okumura laughed darkly. Fancy that, even he hated himself. That just went to show that there was no chance of anyone else liking him. Bon and Konekomuru had made their hatred obvious, whilst Shiemi, Izumo and Shima avoided him completely, which was just as bad. And Yukio, well, he hadn't been the same with Rin for a long time, even before the old man's death. But that had been the final straw. Now when Yukio looked at him, it was no longer with the hero-worshipping look he'd always directed towards Rin since they were little. Now it was just cold, calculating, as if he was trying to determine the best way to kill Rin if he got out of control. That first day at cram school had proven that his younger sibling would have no trouble pulling that trigger if the need arose. It was the loss of his relationship with Yukio that pained him the most. His twin had always been the one he could confide in no matter what, but the past months had made him question that. And so now, instead of talking with his brother like he once would have, he sat silently in the dark. Alone.

The first sign that something was wrong was the closed door. Not that a closed door was that strange, but Rin frequently left doors, even the front door to their dorm, unlocked, a habit which Yukio often griped about. Rin claimed that it was because he had nothing to hide, but secretly, Yukio believed it to be that Rin hated feeling trapped, as it started soon after the night of their father's death, when he'd been locked in the basement.

The second sign that something was wrong was the sight of his brother's black familiar pacing the doorway, mewling pitifully and occasionally scratching at the door.

"What is it, Kuro?" Yukio asked, even though he knew he wouldn't be able to understand the response. Instead, the cat sith's reaction was to run over and take the corner of his jacket in his mouth, tugging Yukio insistently to the door.

"Ok, Ok, I'm going!" Leaning forward, he twisted the door handle, and frowned when he realised it was locked. "Hey, Rin, open up!" His heart sped up slightly as panic began to set in when no reply came. Fumbling in his pocket, he found what he was after: his pocket knife. Pulling out the part that acted as a lock pick, he began twisting it in the keyhole of the door until he heard a satisfying click. Once again twisting the handle, the door opened to reveal a sight Yukio was not expecting. The locked door had terrified him, his mind spinning through various scenarios rapidly, all equally sickening.

Instead, what he saw was his brother sitting broken on his bed. His brother, who had always seemed so strong, had finally cracked, the pressure of the past months suddenly crushing him. The darkness of the room caused Yukio to frown. Perhaps things weren't as bad as he'd first imagined, but they were still by no means ok.

"Rin." Yukio said gently, but not gently enough. Rin's head shot up, and Yukio was saddened to see the terror laced in his brother's eyes, eyes which widened in disbelief, before settling into an appearance of numb indifference. Tears slipped silently down Rin's face, as he cursed himself for his idiocy. _Stupid! Stupid_! He berated himself. Yukio was never meant to see him like this! Now he'd only be even more of a burden than he already was. Rin hung his head in shame.

"Rin."Yukio said again, slowly walking over to where his older brother sat on the edge of the bed. Rin flinched slightly when he felt the bed dip as his brother sat by his side, unspeaking. Just his being there was a comfort to Rin. Even if Yukio didn't find comfort in Rin's presence anymore, Rin couldn't say the same about himself. He hated the fact that his body instinctively began to lean into his brother's frame, absorbing every bit of reassurance it could. _This is wrong,_ he thought, _I shouldn't have to rely on Yukio, it should be the other way round._

"I'm sorry." He whispered to his brother, so quietly that it almost went unheard.

"For what, Rin? What's wrong?" Yukio asked concernedly. He had no idea what could bring his brother to such a state.

"For being weak. For being a burden. For dad…" he choked up a bit on that last one. "For everything. You must hate me." Rin took his brother's following silence as conformation, not noticing the anger building in Yukio.

"I mean, I wouldn't blame you either. I don't know how you do it, putting up with a monster like-"

"You're not a monster!" Yukio shouted, making his brother jump. "You're not a monster." He repeated, softer this time. "You're my big brother. You're the person who always protected me- got into fights for me. Heck, you still do. But that's just you, Rin. I would never want you to change yourself."

"But you, you always seemed like you didn't care, like you-"

"I always care. Always will. It's only you who sees yourself as a monster. I see you as one of the nicest guys I know- except don't tell anyone I said that-"Yukio smiled softly. "You act all tough, but you're a big softy really- much better at this sappy stuff than me. But it's my turn to look after you."

"But I have to look after you! And how can I, when I could be what kills you?" Rin shouted desperately.

"Is this about what Suguro said? Your flames won't kill anyone!"

"And how would you know that?" Rin spat back.

"Because I know you! And I know you'd never hurt anyone unless they deserved it. You'd definitely never hurt one of your friends. Or me." Yukio said gently, forcing Rin to look at him by holding him by the soldiers.

"What friends?" Rin asked bitterly.

"Bon, Shiemi, Izumo, Shima, Konekomuru. They're all your friends. None of them hate you, or are scared of you. They just don't know what to feel yet. You have to give them time to get used to the fact that you're Satan's son." Yukio said in his usual calm, patient, _reassuring_ way.

"Why me?"

"Why you what, Rin?" Yukio questioned, puzzled.

"Why do I have to be the son of Satan? Why can't I just be normal?"

"Trust me, Rin, even if you were normal you'd still find a way to stand out." Yukio said, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "And besides, I think you're forgetting something…"

Rin frowned. "What?"

"You're not the only son of Satan, dummy! And if you think you're a monster, then that means I am too, seeing as we are twins after all."

"No! You're not-"

"Well then, there's your answer. Besides, Satan may be our father in the biological sense, but Father Fujimoto is our real dad. He's the one who cared for us- and, more importantly, he raised you as a human. To call yourself a monster would to be to say he failed as a dad- which he didn't." Yukio reasoned, and, judging by the more hopeful look Rin's eyes had adopted, it was working.

"I guess you're right. God, I must look so stupid right now. Sorry you had to see that." Rin laughed uneasily in an attempt to break the tension. Way too much sappy stuff for a lifetime, he shivered.

"Course I'm right- I am the smart one after all," Yukio replied, with a sparkle in his eye which Rin hadn't seen in a long time. "And don't apologise. You'd do the same for me- you already have, actually."

Rin smiled, as the room sank back into silence, this time more awkward rather than uneasy. But the silence was soon broken once again, this time by a loud gurgle. Both boys looked over to where a small cat sat in the doorway, who at least had the decency to look embarrassed.

"C'mon, let's go eat before Kuro's stomach growling gets worse." Yukio smiled, helping his brother to his feet as they moved towards the door.

As they did, unbeknownst to them, their shadows, cast by the bright light of the hallway, fused together, indistinguishable. Yes, there would be rough times, but they'd survived more than their fair share before. And they would survive again. Together.


End file.
